[Snap]

When I look back at old videos on youtube that I made I cringe, I hate them. I hate the sound of my voice and I hate that my humour doesn’t come across at all. Maybe I’m only funny in my head though. I had some guy bitch at me for being unsympathetic to heroin users, he completely missed the point.

I decided to move on from my ewanmureaux channel for good although I’ll leave the videos up. I just want to get away from the avatar a bit, well not avatars in general maybe, not saying I’m leaving that account or anything in Second Life, I would just rather have something less fictional. I completely value freedom of expression and the distinction between your real and internet self, having an online identity can be valuable but not when it gets old and boring. I wonder if Torley wakes up some days and just thinks “fuck I hate being tied into this pink and green pish, fuck watermelons”.

So from now on, on plurk, twitter, youtube this blog or whatever I’m going to just do what I want, some sort of in between reality and fiction which is basically what my life is. I don’t deal well with reality so I opted out of it completely, occasionally making a trip back there when the government want something, they pay my internet bill so I have to do what they ask.

You know juggling accounts on every social media avenue is completely beyond me, I don’t need or want to be everywhere and it’s because I’m not selling you anything. yet I insist on spunking words into the world completely unaware of whether anyone reads, cares whatever. Maybe I’m writing for me so I can say that I did something. That’s not it, I think I know why now, I spend my life soaking in media, information, occasionally bullshit and in some sort of Newtonian urge I feel a need to push back, react and put me out there. I wish I had some sort of structure in my life but then I’d probably hate that too so until then I’ll sit here taking in information and pushing out trivial thoughts on why I’m doing that rather than actual content.

I wonder what it was like before the internet when you had to go talk to actual people, was there less bullshit said than there is now where opinions are like arseholes and yours stinks?

I didn’t blog at all in January, I started a draft about anti-semitism which was obviously a laugh a minute. I noticed that some phrases thrown around by end the fed people could easily be misconstrued because certain terms, analogies and metaphors could have a double meaning. At the same time though the anti-defamation league can be, have been maybe possibly a bit over-zealous when they pursue things. I’m not going to go into that almost post any more, I might finally finish it one day but its a bit of a tightrope trying not to explain my feelings on both sides as an outside observer and so on.

Anyway my idea today was to just get some things off my mind, some things I like and some other things I don’t like.

I didn’t blog at all in January, I started a draft about anti-semitism which was obviously a laugh a minute. I noticed that some phrases thrown around by end the fed people could easily be misconstrued because certain terms, analogies and metaphors could have a double meaning. At the same time though the anti-defamation league can be, have been maybe possibly a bit over-zealous when they pursue things. I’m not going to go into that almost post any more, I might finally finish it one day but its a bit of a tightrope trying not to explain my feelings on both sides as an outside observer and so on.

Things I like at the moment include the Alex Jones show, I don’t agree with him a lot of the time and his manner is quite alien to a British person but that’s true of almost all American radio hosts, you couldn’t really imagine a Glen Beck or Rush Limbaugh being tolerated so much over here. I hope I’m right on that, the loud aggressive manner seems in stark contrast to the quiet, considered, cutting interrogations we would expect from a Jeremy Vine or Jeremy Paxman or even people not called Jeremy at all.

I also like my new phone, when i chose to leave real life some two and a half years ago I ditched my mobile etc. I thought it was about time to maybe start connecting and being normal again so I purchased a lovely little Samsung touch screen phone which is pretty swish. Inspired by the whole smartphone nonsense I decided to give twitter a go again and just signed up. I’m going to keep this account non-Second Life related because I”ve fallen out of love with SL and I’m trying to have a real first life doing normal people things, it could be fun to try out for a while. So on this new account which you can follow if you like @ twitter.com/applepious I’ll be ejaculating my bullshit thoughts that no one cares about into the twitterverse. Also I’ll be following people I actually want to hear from so you’ll notice some “conspiracy” and US politics type stuff if you bother to look.

Things I don’t like include bloggers, people from California and especially bloggers from California. I hate that no matter how massive the internet is it all just happens to take place at their front door, pricks. I also dislike continued illegal Israeli settlements in Palestine.

The Christmas Story as told by Ewan Mureaux from Ewan Mureaux on Vimeo.

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I’m blushing a lot so I’ll write my wee blog about the show later.

Why you wonder why I always dress in black? Why you never see bright colours on my back? And why does my appearance seem to have a sombre tone, well there’s a reason for the things that I have on.

So sang the late great Johnny Cash anyway I went shopping today and put together this outfit.

Keeping warm this winter

Obligatory close up of face and stuff

Skin – Belleza – Mathieu
Hair/Hat – Argrace – Beanie
Glasses – Argrace – [ARGlasses] Groovy
Coat/ Sweater – Argrace – Traveller
T-shirt – Muism
Jeans – Laqroki – Raw Denim
Gloves – Clobber – Fingerless Stitched Padded Gloves
Trainers – Action – Suede Skate Shoes
Poses – Glitterati

Half-way through, drained depressed. Winterstock is going OK but I need to do more. The events really kick off tomorrow with the first fashion show, then the ameri-friendly timed one on Friday. I don’t know whether it has been successful yet or not, well we won’t know until January 3rd when we close the doors. No matter what all I want to do is try my best to be fair to everyone involved, include everyone and make it a positive experience. Unfortunately if that experience is threatened I will snap lol see what I did there? Snap.sl and snap as in temper, I’m hilarious.

Anyway I don’t want to ruin it in case this doesn’t happen but I’ve been invited to go on Fabulous Fashion with Angie Mornington on Treet TV and talk about Winterstock. I have to fill out a biography thing which might be the stumbling block when they realise I’m a dick who knows nothing about fashion and just managed to blag it and attract people who had no fucking idea who he was to rent on his sim. Seriously it’s all smoke and mirrors to start with, that’s what makes a great event let people believe what they want like its exclusive and stuff while inside you’re secretly shitting yourself that everyone will realise you haven’t a clue what you’re doing and reject the fantasy you concocted about being a premier shopping destination, I mean that fantasy became reality, we are a fucking great place but at the start it was a bit less of a sure thing, let me explain.

Right so the sequence of events that made winterstock, the short version, have too many lindens then see someone is selling a sim for cheapness buy it even though you have no idea what you want to do with it. Five minutes later when filling out the ticket to transfer the sim think what the fuck am I doing? Call sim Merry Christmas because you like Christmas and it’s September so close enough. Ok then Antie wanted to be involved cos she likes Christmas cos there’s snow and that and she’s a Norwegian so it snows there like 11 months of the year anyway so maybe it makes her feel more at home or something I don’t know but I’m really happy that her viking/ snow/ designery expertise was available. So we went into my skybox at the end of September/ start of October and started building and listening to Christmas music to get in the mood, we wanted to have some pre-built before the sim arrived so we could crack on and let people come see.

The sim was transfered on October 14th and I realised that the model I had built to plan the sim was like 1/4 of the actual size cos I thought it was 128m across and its not its 256m what a dick I felt when I did that. Anyway so I had built the shops and stables and things and Antonia had made the stalls and modded the Ferris wheel carriages but I did the rest of the wheel and our version looks so much better than the original. Antonia also made my street look so much more prettier with lights and trees and the skating rink and paths and the nice dancing area at the back. Then I made the “It’s Christmas in Australia too!” part because of a joke when the sim was transferred by leo linden who is an Australian so anyway kangaroos in Santa hats and that surfing Santa, wrapped up wallabies Kris Kringle koalas, you get the picture. Then we finished the sim and we were going to have a special preview but I didn’t want to just open to the public cos I couldn’t be arsed dealing with a group of people because well, I’m a cunt. Right so my anti-social tendencies mixed with my intention to only want people who really wanted to be with us involved and to do it fairly in a first come first served way regardless of whether your shop opened last Tuesday or if you were Anshe Chung we would just be fair and not pretentious.

So Shiryu Mushashi who I had friended on plurk was really enthusiastic and he stated his interest first so he was first to be invited over and well he pretty much did my recruiting job for me, he knows everyone it seems and is just so nice and was really into what we were doing. I was pretty tired though and at times when he asked if i could add so and so to the list I was being slow and like being woken up and asking to stay in bed for just 5 more minutes you know that feeling? Well once I got into gear i stopped dragging y heels and came and met people with a smile and relayed the same information again and again altering it slightly each time to keep me interested which is a little game I play, using a different word or something cos I’m easily amused. Anyway so I kept public access off because this helped make us look all exclusive and stuff in my head you know speshul? All kidology but i think maybe it helped build a bit of hype, I think or at least i hope people were excited when we finally opened, it was really fucking busy so I suspect so.

The thing is now the initial buzz wears off, we’re still getting good traffic but its quiet enough that you can actually walk in the sim now but that means its time for us to pick up on events which we do tonight at 11am/7pm (PDT/GMT) with teh first fashion show, the second being tomorrow at the US-friendly 7pm (PDT). I’m DJIng tonight so that’ll be a treat, honest and better than that is Friday when my friend Elle will DJ and she’s like the only DJ in SL I’ve heard in SL (apart from you if you are reading this and I have heard you) that doesn’t make me want to shoot myself in the face with brick made out of hate and bees and nails that was set on fire.

I’m writing this here cos no one ever reads it and i need to do a fucking rambling half sleeping version with swearing and talking how I speak to get it out of my system so I don’t completely fucking embarrass myself on an SL TV show that is really fucking well made and has people on it with acres more talent and with tons more interesting shit to say than I do. I think it would only be a tiny bit of me saying anything anyway before they quickly get to the 5 Designers that would also be on the show. Hope I haven’t fucked up by mentioning it before it’s even been confirmed though, even if they realise they’d be better interviewing a 0.5m plywood cube I’m still honoured to go from absolute obscurity to even being considered by something that I’ve actually gone to see being filmed a couple of times.

If all that was tl;dr the gist is winterstock is doing great and if it wasn’t for Antonia Marat, Shiry Mushashi and in fact all the rentists/merchants I’d be fucked. So Thank you to all of them and if you haven’t visited the sim yet you’re a dick and you ought to get that sorted sharpish but If you come visit this thanksgiving weekend I’ll forgive you and love you again and make you not a dick any more.

Happy Thanksgiving, try not to take any food off natives that you plan to kill in the future, cheers.